Dog Day Here Again

Feb 20 2011 in Depot Town Rag by Tim Adkins (admin)

March of the Mutts, Saturday, 19 March

By Tom Dodd

Dear dog friends, this report is for those of us who did not attend last year’s inaugural March of the Mutts and may be attending for the very first time.

I must admit, I was a bit intimidated when I first saw what seemed to be the Largest Dog Pack In The WholeWide World. Sure, there were the usual chatty two-leggers at the ends of our leashes, but it was the other four-leggers who especially intrigued me: hundreds of us! Last year’s event (that’s a two-legger  year––seven for us) was the most exciting pack event in my short life. My nose was out of order for days afterward. Let me tell you what to expect:

First of all, we gather at the Market Plaza, between the Old Caboose and the Freighthouse. Two-leggers sign up for various awards, but the big event is all those other dogs to check out. This huge dogs-mostly event is probably the closest thing ever to Doggie Heaven. While the two-leggers are busy categorize everything (What’s his name? What kind is that? How big? Boy or girl? How old? etc.), we start what is surely the most exciting event of the day: butt-checking.

This is not a dog show with cages and name tags; this is the March Of The Mutts! You will see all kinds of lovely dogs in this crowd: puppies and grey-muzzled geezers, tall ones and short ones, short-hairs and long-hairs, plain and exotic, but all with one thing in common: happy dogs, dogs making new friends and greeting old ones, dogs finally connecting all those territorial markings. This could be the most satisfying morning of your life.

You’ll even see some dogs dressed like two-leggers; sweaters, jackets, scarves, bow ties, booties, sun glasses, and cute little clown-like hats strapped to their heads. What they heck? If you’re into that kind of thing, go for it!

Conversely, you’ll find some two-leggers dressed like dogs but they don’t fool us a bit––they’re still walking around on their hind legs! Don’t even bother trying to smell them; they are not authentic. These are the agenda-laden two-leggers. They chatter about “taking a bite out of crime,” “animal rescues,” and “worm pills.” They are well-intentioned, but wear all the wrong colors. Tolerate them. They mean well. Say, “Good Dog!”

In addition to the two- and four-leggers, you will also encounter a few three-leggers. Although taken for granted by us, many two-leggers just go nuts over them. We encourage them to join another of the neighborhood’s big parades––the one in which we wear pink ribbons and walk in the up-coming Race for the Cure for women’s breast cancer awareness.

After the two-leggers try to line us up, the Big Parade starts at the railroad tracks on E. Cross and goes past all those lamp posts and fire hydrants toward the Huron River. On this day, we go right down the middle of the street. Two-leggers’ cars are parked in the surrounding Barking Lots and on the side streets. We’re safe out here today.

While the streets are full of us dogs and our leashed two-leggers,  the sidewalks are nearly empty except for a few lonely and dogless two-leggers who bring only memories of dogs from the past. Watch for them to squat down and you will make their day if you just pause and give them a big, sloppy kiss on the face. They are easy-to-please sentimentalists.

The rest of the parade route is unlike the neighborhood’s other such events: no bands playing, no soldiers marching in lines, no floats to run us over. This parade is a doggie parade and we run in as close to pack formation as we can with those pesky leashes attached. We meander and turn. We walk sideways. We sometimes run in tight circles. We’re dogs and this is our day!

For this glorious event, we do not need condescending pats on the head. And we don’t need those reassuring reminders that we are “good dogs” all the time. As much as we love those responses on other days, today we have risen to our natural level of wonderfulness and we walk proud, our noses and tails raised high. We are surrounded by doggie comrades and we just love it.

After a block of strutting, we leave the concrete and trot into Riverside Park where there are acres of green grass and lots of tree trunks. Many of us have come here before to run in big circles, play Frisbee, smell trees, and poop, but we don’t have to check out the marked boundaries now because, on this day, the whole place belongs to us! Everybody who’s been leaving markings is here and it’s a swell canine reunion.

We make a huge circle around the park and line up near the bank of the Huron River where some of us jump in the water to wade or swim. If you’re one of those Big Water Dogs, you can provide the two-leggers with their favorite distraction: run out of the river into the biggest crowd and shake the water off your back. They love it! Two-leggers giggle and scream and run around happily when we shower them this way. Spread the joy. Give them a thrill.

Other two-leggers gather with their dog friends at the dock that hangs over the rushing water to receive awards for silly two-legger criteria and then we go home to take a nap.

Good dog! Good dog!

SIDEBAR:

St. Pawdy’s Day Pet Parade

Saturday, 19 March

Noon: Registration at Market Plaza

12:30 p.m.: Parade west on E. Cross Street

1-1:30 p.m.: Awards in Riverside Park

Sky Dive Tecumseh